Don't be Koi Part 2

All the feedback has been read and acted on and I have done a re-write. Though it didn't seem to need a page 1 one. Thanks to non-bloggers Paul, Wendy, Caroline and Fran. Also thanks to bloggers Elinor and Dave. Yes my PO3 turned into a PO6.

All the advice was helpful and it's shocking how many spelling mistakes Word misses. Not me. It was Word. Honest. Oh and we won't talk about the protagonist changing name half way through. Didn't happen. Just a bad dream. I can't believe I did that!!!! Bottom line, as I tell my trainees: You can't check your own work. You just repeat your mistakes.

I've now got to do a read-aloud of the whole thing. Dave's going to have to dredge up his old acting skills to help me with that one. Then I'll put it aside for a while and read through just before I post it off.

Moving onto a sitcom idea ready for Northern Laughs. Just to see if it comes together in a civilised manner. Or maybe an uncivilised manner seeing as it is comedy. If I don't think it will be ready in time then I just won't enter.

Lots of other stuff to do. And do you find certain keys become faded? Mine are E, R, T H and N. There's no letter on them anymore. Just as well I can touch type. But it does make me wonder what I've been typing in my sleep. THERN? NERTH? Sounds like fantasy characters to me. So I've just got to find where it's hidden on my drive, this nocturnal novel.

Don't be Koi

My first page re-write is done and it is now out to PO3. Wooo Hooo (with a good Blur rhythm). I think that deserves a nice hot chocolate. With squirty cream on top. Oh and the script is now a black comedy instead of a romcom. I couldn't help it. It just got darker and darker. Must be the time of the year.

Hope all your entries are going well.

Writing Progress Report

At the beginning of Winter I listed my plans for the chilly months here. I thought I'd give an update on progress. Yes I know there are those fancy sliding progress things but I've not mastered them yet.


The Gate: Horror TV series: The first 10 pages were submitted to Red Planet but didn't get picked. I re-wrote them and completed the first draft of the episode. This involved binning some scenes I really liked but they slowed the pace and had to go. Interestingly I found the supporting characters more fun to write than the protagonist. I don't know if that is typical? The script is now in the feedback loop starting with hubby who likes to track down holes and switches in character. It will head out to PO3 after that.


Don't be Koi: Romcom Radio Play: This is my Alfred Bradley entry. It is a romcom with a very dark twist. It is going through a page 1 re-write after I found the end was more malevolent than the beginning. The protagonist has changed quite a lot and I made a major change to one of the other characters. I'm using the fact it is radio to try something different with her character, basically playing with sound. Still enjoying writing it. Should be out for PO3 soon.


Witch's Stone: Teen Horror Novel: After Laura mentioned children's novels are typically 40,000 words I realised I'd got carried away and actually had a trilogy. The first novel is now well blocked out and ready to write but the overall story arc is still a bit rough.


Blood, Sweat and Tears: Comedy Feature: Some adjustments have been made but basically I need to sit down and write this next draft.

Rain On My Parade: Comedy Drama Feature: Reworked my outline and am now happy with the three main characters. Ready to write the first draft.


No progress in: Life to the Full: Drama TV Special, Solitary Sky: SF Radio Play and Under the Thumb: Horror-Drama Stage Play.

So lots on the go but not all have progressed. I've decided to concentrate on getting things finished so the portfolio is thicker rather than leaving them at step outlines.


Hope all your work is going well.

Bloggety Birthday

It was my Bloggety 1st birthday last Sunday and I forgot. This means I didn't get myself a virtual present or cake so I'll have to console myself with a real one this Sunday. Hmmm. I think a nice big chocolate cake with sprinkles and whipped cream on top. Nope. Clotted cream and strawberry jam. My arteries will never forgive me.

On the radio script front I decided I liked the ending better than the beginning. I am therefore going to do a 1st page rewrite to sort it out.

That's me sorted for the weekend then. Hope yours goes well too.

Northern Laughs

In case anyone gets bored with the Alfred Bradley Bursary applications there is another scheme to go for if you live in the cooler part of England. It's Northern Laughs, a BBC comedy writer development scheme.

Details are at the writersroom and application is via the local screen agencies. These are in the North East, North West and Yorkshire. Deadline is 12th March and you will need to be available for the dates they list.

I've already downloaded my application form but can't make any of the launches so if you are going can you let us all know what happens please?

These are:
Leeds 6-8pm 2nd Feb Carriageworks Theatre,
Newcastle 6-8pm 4th Feb Live Theatre, Quayside,
Manchester6-8pm 9th Feb BBC Oxford Road

Email your full name in the body of the email to: writersroom.events@bbc.co.uk with the subject heading
Northern Laughs LEEDS
Northern Laughs NEWCASTLE
Northern Laughs MANCHESTER

Good Luck

A shout to the Mac users out there

I met a fellow writer at the Alfred Bradley workshop. I know, who did I expect to meet, a tapdancing gerbil in a beret? Anyway she is a Mac user and wondered if there were any handy templates or low cost (ideally free) software for radio play writing.

She'd tried the Scriptsmart at the BBC Writersroom with no luck. It gets twitchy (dies) if you don't have the exact operating system version. A search found a Pages Template by Brokensea but we wondered if the Mac crowd kn0w of any other options.

So help. Any of you creative gurus got any ideas? And no "buy a PC" comments from the rest please.

Big Ta.

Alfred Bradley Workshop

On Thursday I went to one of the Alfred Bradley Workshops. It was hosted by Charlotte Riches with backup from Stefan Escreet. For those that couldn't make a session I've put a little summary here.

In 2006 there were 371 entries. Because you can submit two scripts this means the number of writers was probably less than that. The writersroom read the 1st 10 pages of all entries. So you need to grab their attention in those crucial few pages. Set the world and characters but keep focused.

The long shortlist of 57 scripts were then read in full. If you reach this stage then you will get comments. A rewrite and resubmitting to the writersroom might then be worthwhile.

The shortlist of 14 scripts were then read by the judges. Of that group of 14, commissions were given to 6 writers. The commission were not necessarily for the script they submitted. They also got mentoring from producers and they propose to repeat that.

In other words the odds are good, based on 2006 about 1 in 92. Remember many will fall at the first hurdle because they think they can just knock something out?

The scheme is looking for 44min Afternoon Plays. I assume the extra minute to make 45 is for credits and stuff. These plays will fill the 2.15-3.00 slot from Mon-Fri and get 6000+ listeners. For length the latest advice is 1 minute per page or about 7000 words total.

It isn't a perfect timing method but even just reading it aloud and timing it helps. Just make sure you aren't on a crowded bus at the time or they'll kick you off and you'll have to walk home. Maybe I shouldn't have tested a horror script when the pensioners were off to get their pensions. Anyway they do allow a tolerance of about 5-7mins.

The slot accepts a range of styles but Charlotte gave a list of things to watch out for. You can use them if valid and you can justify them but don't get carried away.

• Inner voice - they see a lot of this. If you can take it out and the story still works then why do you need it?
• Setting in the past or future. Why is it important to set the story then?
• Too much backstory. The odd flashback is OK.
• Long time frames. For example 20 years.
• Lots of characters. No more than 6 main ones please. The actors can double up but the audience is intelligent and will spot it. Not too many voices speaking together either. Make the voices different. Remember the audience has no visual clues and are unfamiliar with the characters at the start.
• Bad language. Oh **&&%%!
• Sex and Violence. It is a more personal medium and the listener won't accept as much as they will on television.

Another tip was to concentrate on story and think in film terms rather than stage. This means go in late, come out early, good pace and not too much talking heads about the philosophy of life. Ah shucks. And I was going to spend 44mins talking about the deep meaningful discoveries I've made staring into my belly button. Bin that one then.

Finally you need to write in your own voice rather than trying to second-guess what they are looking for. Be original and take risks. Write what you enjoy listening to.

The deadline is 28th February and the entries need to be posted. You can find all the details here. One thing to note is you are currently based, have lived or were born in the North. The website clarifies that condition.

Anyway thanks to Charlotte for braving the chilly fells and to Stefan for not racing home to a warm fire at the end of his working day.

Good luck everyone who has a go at this.